Grieving and Healing: Spirit Communication with Christian Millward

In this episode of 'Seeing Death Clearly,' host Jill McClennen talks with Christian Millward, a mother of six from Idaho, about her journey with grief and spirit communication. Christian shares how the deaths of her mother and seven-week-old daughter, Indi, led her to discover her spiritual connection and create the Indie Star Cards, a tool to help people communicate with loved ones who have passed away. 

They discuss emotional awareness, generational trauma, and the importance of having an exit strategy for antidepressant use during pregnancy. Kristen also emphasizes the importance of normalizing discussions about death and spirit communication to facilitate the healing process.

00:00 Introduction to Spirit Communication

00:40 Meet Our Guest: Christian Millward

02:10 Kristen's Journey Through Grief

04:26 The Loss of Baby Indi

07:33 Generational Trauma and Healing

07:55 The Role of Antidepressants

11:26 Creating the Indi Star Cards

12:24 Normalizing Spirit Communication

15:05 Using the Indi Star Cards

19:43 Finding Peace Through Awareness

20:46 Sacred Tools and Their Significance

21:12 The Journey of Creating Handmade Decks

22:04 Communicating with Loved Ones Beyond

23:49 Personal Experiences with Spirit Communication

31:25 Teaching and Building a Community

34:33 Navigating Emotional Health and Medication

37:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

https://www.indistarcards.com/

hello@indistarcards.com

https://www.instagram.com/indi.star.cards/

Transcript

Christian: [00:00:00] It is this connection to spirit that you learn to live between the worlds. That world is just as real as this world. The more you communicate with your loved ones and your team, they're not here to save you. They're here to inspire you and to remind you who you are. 

Jill: Welcome back to Seeing Death. Clearly.

I'm your host, Jill McClennen, death doula, funeral celebrant, and someone who really believes that talking about death helps us live better. On this show, I sit down with guests to talk about death, dying grief, and living life. Fully. My goal is to create a space where you can question what you think you know, and explore new ways of understanding these topics.

In today's episode, I'm joined by Christian Millward, a mother of six from Idaho, who shares her experiences with grief. Including the death of her mother to cancer and her seven week old daughter Indie. She talks about how those losses led her to explore spirit communication and create the indie star [00:01:00] cards.

A deck designed to help people connect with loved ones who have died. We talk about healing, emotional awareness, generational trauma, and her experience with antidepressants during pregnancy, including why she believes having an exit strategy for medications matters. Thank you for joining us. For this conversation.

Welcome Kristen to the podcast. Thank you for coming on today. Can you tell me a little bit about who you are, where you're from, any backstory, and then we'll get into why you came on the podcast today. 

Christian: My name is Kristen Millward. I am a mother of six children. I'm from Idaho. I love small towns. I ride motorcycles.

I'm a wild child. Raised in the LDS culture, but non-practicing. I have a spiritual sense to me, but also a freedom sense to me. 

Jill: We connected somewhere along this path of life, and I do know a little bit about your story, but why don't you just start off telling us why you wanted [00:02:00] to come on a podcast that talks about death and dying and grief, because it's certainly not for everybody.

So why are you attracted to a podcast about those topics? 

Christian: When I was 26, I lost my mother to cancer at that moment, and this kind of goes back to the LDS culture for me. I was told that I would never see her again because I was non-practicing. I knew everything in me, knew that she was still going to be there, so I vowed to learn how to communicate with her.

I was introduced to tarot and I started reading tarot. My connection to her. She was the bridge, and so death has been a part of my life for 25 years. I had a daughter of seven weeks old. She passed away 17 years ago, so eight years after my mother's passing, and that took on a whole different journey of healing and grief.

Losing my mother was painful, but nothing was more [00:03:00] painful than losing Indy. It's been a journey of healing for me, but my love for spirit and my love for communicating with them is still so strong. I'm so grateful to have that, and most people don't. I'm now teaching and looking to reach out to the community and talk about these things.

I'm grateful that you have a platform I can share on talking about. This is new for me, so I get a little nervous, but at the same time, I just know what it's done for me and being able to move through grief. An intense grief. 

Jill: I only imagine a seven week old baby. I don't think there's anything worse for a parent than the death of a child.

And that young is, you know, when my son was born, especially, he was my first, those first couple weeks, it's so intimate now. My children are a little older. They're not attached to me quite as much, but when they're that young, they're still, I think sometimes they'll call it like. The afterbirth is [00:04:00] like the fourth trimester, right?

How many trimesters do we even have? I can't even remember now. Three 

Christian: trimesters. 

Jill: Yeah, exactly. Even though the baby's out of you, they're still such a part of you in those first few months of life, and so I'm so sorry that you experienced 

Christian: Yeah, that they're not separate yet. They haven't begun to walk. You haven't started that process of separating from them, and so this part of me.

I wasn't able to move on, and I did have a daughter shortly after, since 17 years. And still like, there's times where you allow yourself to pull back those memories and there's times where you just go about your day and, you know, try and make it like as, as joyful and happy as possible. But there is a depth.

Of pain that you carry, even doing the spiritual work and spirit communication. I wonder if that will ever change. It's not like I want to forget. [00:05:00] But at the same time, especially during special days, like the remembrance days, and this with my daughter specifically is extremely challenging still after 17 years, and I've come to realize that I'm not going to wish that away anymore.

I'm going to just embrace it and I go somewhere new and experience something new and surround myself with experiences that. Light my heart up. It's the smells, the colors, the temperatures, it brings it all back. My body goes back into memory and, and brings back that grief, you know? And it starts two weeks prior to the day.

My family all know now they're just like, this is just part of it. I'm very supported. That love never fades. It's always there. 

Jill: Grief can be one of those things where there's that misunderstanding that like it fades with time. And I don't believe that's true. It changes, but I don't think it really [00:06:00] fades rather than wishing it away culturally, that's what we are taught to do is, I just wish I didn't feel this.

But then it almost makes things worse the more that we want to not feel something. And again, you could call it spirit or God or whatever it is. Mm-hmm. You'd be like, so you don't wanna feel it? All right. We'll see how this is gonna go for you. And it almost makes you feel it more. And I'm glad that you're finding now that you can try to do something special on that day.

Do something special for yourself. Experience something new and beautiful and wonderful. Because you can't change the experience. You can only work with it as best as you can. 

Christian: And I think culturally, we are not supported in being emotional. I know that after the death of my daughter, the grief was so intense.

People didn't know how to support me. They didn't know how to show up, and then it became too much, even when they tried. It's [00:07:00] an extended non-ending. Process, you die with them and have to learn how to live again. I lost a lot of really beautiful people because it was just too much for anybody to hold.

And so it became a very, I call it a sacred, silent journey where it was mine. And nobody was able to do the work for me. I had to do it for myself, and that's where I feel very grateful for my connection that I had established with my mom. Eight years prior. I knew Indie was there, and this is where the next chapter, one chapter ends and another one begins.

We went from. Spirit communication to emotion, to generational trauma. And this is where that door opened because, can I share a little bit about how Indy passed? 

Jill: Yes, please. 

Christian: Okay. So when my mother passed away, and I'm highly sensitive, [00:08:00] emotional, have been judged, you know, being too sensitive my whole life.

So I've had a very hard time with depression when I was younger, and I was just so emotional about everything. I could feel everything so intensely. So when my mother passed away, God, I loved her so much, and that just, it opened up this flood. That I couldn't control. I had been prescribed antidepressants to try and help cope with that death.

And I had little ones, you know, I was a mom. I had to be there for my children. So the emotions were getting in the way of that starting antidepressants. We, over the years changed when they stopped working and increased when they started to fade. We got to a really high dose of a really strong one when I wanted to have indie.

The doctors, there wasn't any information out there that, you know, said that it was dangerous for the infant. It was kind of like [00:09:00] buyer beware, you know? It was up to you and you're so addicted to them. It's not like you could just get off of them anyway. And so when they told me that it was safe and that it was okay, I listened.

You know, they're my doctors. It wasn't until I started having some pretty. Significant risks in the pregnancy. I was put on bedrest and preeclampsia, which is now known to. A side effect. I kept going into labor early and my doctor wasn't there. The on-call physician found out what I was taking, and immediately called to the Nick unit and said, we have an Effexor baby on the way you need to be here.

And that was the first moment I realized that what I had been taking was dangerous for her. Then I was told that now that she's out, it was good that Nick unit was there. But now everything's okay. I don't know if the medication passes into the milk. I continued to breastfeed her. She [00:10:00] continued to have problems, and at seven weeks old, we were in and out of the hospitals.

She wasn't able to gain weight. She was throwing up everything she was eating and ended up aspirating at seven weeks. And I knew at that moment, I knew that that's what had caused her death. I knew, and you know, at that time, like I said, there was nothing out there. We were connected to a couple of groups.

We've done a couple of documentaries. Now that one has been translated into eight languages. Her story is out there. We were part of this movement that brought in this, you know, that this is dangerous for infants and that we need to really weigh, you know, consequence. And, but what happened with our, my own personal journey with her is that I needed to get off the antidepressants.

I needed to find a way to get myself back. And that [00:11:00] took a whole lot of, you know, it's like labor. You don't remember how painful it was. You just know that it was painful. And that was our experience. I can't remember the pain, but I'm lucky to be here. I honestly am just opening up this communication with her and asking her to please help me find a way to communicate with her.

The tarot was no longer working 'cause I was in such severe grief. And then she put this and I know. That's Spirit. Uh, I had this picture in my head and I created a deck of cards now called the Indie Star Cards. Her name is Indiana Star, and I started using those to communicate with her. She helped me understand.

That we were a part of a movement. Logically, I knew that we were part of this, but my body still had so much pain and stuff that was coming up. I had to restructure who I was and I had to learn how to listen to my body. Listen to my emotions and it's [00:12:00] created this whole, and this has been 17 years now of a journey, and I realized at some point that we were working on all of this generational trauma that was playing out in my life and were part of my belief systems and patterns that I had kept recreating for myself over and over, and my emotional stuff.

It's been a beautiful journey with her and I'm grateful that I've had that and. This is where I want to really normalize spirit communication because I feel like as humanity, we suffer. We're stuck in these bodies. We're stuck with this generational trauma that we don't even know we have, and we're recreating patterns that we aren't even aware of and we're unconsciously going through life.

For me, having that ability to really work with them, I had such a blessing. Not only for me, but for my children and having those healthy relationships with them. We get to talk about death. [00:13:00] We get to talk about spirit. I want to normalize spirit communication instead of it being taboo, something scary or wrong or bad.

And that's why I call it sacred silent work, because I didn't want to be judged. I don't wanna be judged for that. That's my daughter and that's my mom. And they are there. So this is what we get to now teach, which I'm so grateful I had to go through my own process and get myself to a place where I could teach and show up for others, but I had to do that for myself first.

So that's kind of where we're at today. 

Jill: Oh, what a beautiful story. Sad. And beautiful. I think both. Yeah. There at the same time. Right? 

Christian: Yeah. 

Jill: And so I know I looked at your website and I saw the cards. Can you explain a little bit? 'cause actually I read tarot cards as well. 

Christian: Beautiful. 

Jill: Yeah, I love 'em so much. A lot of times I'll do tarot parties, but then I'll go to bars sometimes for [00:14:00] events and read for people.

They walk up, sit down, I read for a couple minutes, they wander away. I'm always a little surprised if somebody comes over wearing a cross because typically Christians. Do not think tarot can go with their religion. 

Christian: Right. 

Jill: Grow up Catholic. My grandma was like, that's the devil's work. 

Christian: Exactly. Exactly. 

Jill: And so I always say to people that the way it works is when I'm reading their tarot cards, God, the universe, your ancestors, whatever you wanna call it.

Wants to communicate with you. I am just the vessel for them to come through and communicate. I just know the cards, what they mean in the positions, but it's not me giving you the message. I'm just telling you what the cards say. I've thought about. Consciously trying to talk to somebody's loved ones that have passed on.

But there is a little part of me that gets real freaked out about that. Well, on one hand I'm like, no, it would be totally fine. There is still that little Catholic girl in me that's like, [00:15:00] I don't know, you're gonna end up like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. You know, I don't want that. And so. With your deck of cards, I know you said originally you started with tarot and now you created this deck of cards.

How does that work? Like if somebody wanted to communicate with one of their loved ones that has died? How do the cards themselves work for giving messages or communicating? How do you typically use them? 

Christian: So, this is different. I tell everyone that comes to my classes, it's so unique for each individual.

So I can tell you, you know, basics, but. Really what it comes down to is the practice, right? You are going to practice and it'll evolve, but it's just holding the intention. For me, when it started, I had the intention that I wanted to communicate with my mother. I held that intention, and then it came into my existence.

Like all of a sudden, Tara was there and I was like, you know, it will find [00:16:00] you. Whatever it is that you're looking for, whether it be the indie star cards, whether it be tarot, whether it be something else, your tools will find you. It's just holding the intention that this is something that you are ready for.

I love that you brought in the I. The, the, the fear around even you having that, you're experienced with tarot and you still have this fear of like, what am I really playing with from my experience? And I can only speak for myself, the greater my light. So the more I understand who I am, the more I understand my spirit and my connection to the divine, the stronger.

My faith and trust in this work is I know that when I close my eyes, I feel my environment. I know when there's something there that doesn't feel good. I've had them come in not knowing who they were at first and kind of like, who are you? But you can feel from the initial, if you learn to listen to your body, your [00:17:00] body is communicating all the time.

If you've learned to listen to those subtle messages from your body, you'll understand what feels good and what doesn't, and you'll be able to. Command your space, you know, and really create a safe space for yourself, and you can do that. You have the power to do that, but it's you understanding your own light and your own divine that allows for you those tools.

Because if you are in fear, then that's when. Do you know what I'm saying? 

Jill: Yeah. 

Christian: Because your connection isn't as strong at that point. You're in fear. So when I tell people you may want to learn a spirit communication, but you're also gonna be taken down a road where you are gonna have to face these fears, identify them and find your truth about it.

Where does this belief come from? And like you said, being raised Catholic, it's a taboo and it's of the devil. And I even have been called a devil, you know, devil. You know, from my own family, this is where I was like, [00:18:00] okay, I'm not saying a word. This is mine, and I get to just do this on my own. And I tell people, as you have your own revelations, as you discover who you are, you don't have to explain this to people.

This is yours. You get to have this. This is for you and your connection. You don't have to get validation, you don't have to get permission. This is for you to discover who you are, who your true self is. These physical bodies are vehicles, and we get to learn how to just as a mechanic does. On a vehicle, if something is out of tune, we get to, to look at that.

We get to ask questions of where it's coming from, and that's what I love about these cards is that not only have, are they used for spirit communication, but also to understand and communicate with your physical body. So how I use that. Is if I'm triggered and I'll, I'll kind of explain [00:19:00] too, like what the cards look like and how they're different from tarot.

Yeah. But they're very, they're, they're simple and I don't mean that they're easy to use necessarily. 'cause you have to, you have to learn how to listen to your intuition. 

Jill: Mm-hmm. 

Christian: And for some people, that takes more practice than for others. And they can be as simple as you want them to be, or complex as you want them to be.

How I use them and how indie has. Really helped me is we needed to learn how to listen to the physical body and what these emotions were telling me. Whenever I'm triggered, it's not about the event that has happened that's triggered it. It's about the feelings that come up in my body. I go into that space of whatever it is that I'm feeling and I sit with it and I start to pull these cards and it helps put words.

To the feelings that are coming up, and then it directs me into where it's coming from. My connection to [00:20:00] what this is, it helps with awareness, doesn't necessarily heal it, but the awareness around it allows it to move, allows the resistance to. Release and I find peace in my body with just understanding.

Jill: Hmm. 

Christian: And so that has really helped over the years. There's a sense of freedom, or I've been guided to healing modalities that have really worked because I'm no longer in resistance. It's this living in flow that you learn from. They are a tool and there's many tools out there, so they're not for everyone.

But if you're curious, it's worth it to at least try this blanket here. She is buried in the larger version of this blanket, and this is what I house her cards in. For the people who have their own decks, I inspire them to find something sacred to wrap their cards in. [00:21:00] This takes away the taboo of it. This is a sacred tool and it should be used as a sacred tool.

Having them wrapped in something that's sacred. It's the energy of them. These ones were handmade. These are the ones that I handmade. They no longer are handmade. They have them printed. There were 30 people who got the OG decks, which was very cool. 

Jill: You, 

Christian: they are 

Jill: 30 of them by hand. 

Christian: I made 30 originally and I sold them, and I have them numbered and I have everyone who bought the decks.

So yeah, they're pretty special. These are one word. Because I told Indy I need to find a way to, and then they're just watercolored painted on and then burned around the edges and they're one word. 'cause I told Indy, I says, I need you to make this easy for me to understand. I don't have the intuitive abilities right now to read tarot and try and interpret what.

They [00:22:00] even mean, 

Jill: yeah, 

Christian: I says, please be direct and please make this easy for me. So even in my trauma, even in my darkest moments, if I pull one, two, or three cards, at least there's a direction of where she's taking me. 

Jill: Yeah. 

Christian: So this is why I say it could be as simple as just pulling one card, or it can continue in a conversation that you'll go through the whole deck.

Jill: Hmm. 

Christian: So it's like this unfolding and they're just, it. What I love about these, I love tarot because there's so much beautiful imagery and possibilities and, but you, you could pull a card and it could fit anywhere. Some, yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't deny that there's actual communication happening.

And there's a lot of validation that you're really communicating with your loved one. This also goes to healing. There were things with my mom that I needed to heal [00:23:00] that have allowed me those conversations with her, you know, where I got to express myself and then I get to feel her communicating back with me.

So we get to heal beyond, you know, being in different realm. Building that bridge between realms and really healing. Doing the healing work with our loved ones who are so excited to be working with us. They celebrate this. 

Jill: Oh my gosh. So now I have so many questions. 

Christian: No, 

Jill: if I, as a tarot reader wanted to use your deck with somebody else, I could still use it the same way, where I could say, who do you wanna talk to?

Who do you wanna communicate with? I could use it and just pull cards and based off of the words that are coming up, that would help direct me towards what it is they want to communicate. So again, I don't share this too often. Uh, I have had. A few times in my life where it started first, once when I was a child, where [00:24:00] somebody's spirit wanted to come through me, and again, it freaked me out so bad.

I was still very Catholic then going to church and ccd and the whole thing that I shut it down, put up a wall. It was real good at keeping that wall up until about. Eight or nine years ago, a person that I was working with, their brother had died from an overdose while they were away in prison. So the last conversation they had was the brother.

In despair being like, I need you. I can't do this anymore. And then they died. And of course they couldn't leave to go to the funeral. They couldn't do anything. When you're working in kitchens, you're really close, like physically you're close to somebody. 

Christian: Yeah. 

Jill: And all of a sudden I was like, I think his brother is demanding that he come through.

It got to the point where I was literally in tears because I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I was going crazy. And I couldn't even understand. It was like [00:25:00] trying to speak to somebody that's speaking a different language, but that was so adamant that they were gonna like get this message through.

So finally one day I said, look, you can do this. We're gonna do it once and just tell me what you can tell me. And I just wrote down a bunch of random words, like they didn't even make sense to me. I was like seeing images. I was like hearing, it was almost like a, again, it's not hearing, like hearing voice.

I even talked to my therapist. I was like, am I crazy? Like, am I schizophrenic? Am I losing my mind? And she was like, look, I've known you for a while now you're not. I don't know what this is, but you're not crazy. Like you're okay. So I wrote down all the words that I could think and I showed up at work and I was like, you're gonna think I'm insane, but I think your dead brother has been screaming at me.

It turns out that it was his brother's. Birthday two days before. 

Christian: Mm-hmm. 

Jill: That was the night I was up all night because he was like, I'm not gonna let you sleep until we do this. So I said, look, here's a list of words. I don't know what it means. This is all I got for you. [00:26:00] Please just take this and ask him to leave me alone.

And it really did. It was like right after that, there was like one more time when I felt him, I could hear him, I could feel him again. It's like this weird. Way of trying to explain, and I tried explaining it to my husband. I can't, it's not like talking to somebody like a conversation. Yep. As you were showing me those cards with the words, I was like, oh, I could've really used that with this guy.

I was so upset and so overwhelmed. And then one time after that I allowed somebody to do it on purpose because it was my husband's cousin who also died of an overdose. I was like, look man, if you're out there, I will let you do this 'cause I'm gonna see your mom in a couple weeks. And I let him, and since then again, this is like eight years ago, I've been like, Nope, gotta put that wall back up 'cause I don't want this.

But so I love that your cards have the words, so I could just use that. You're right. [00:27:00] Vitaro. Like, I'm really good at reading tarot cards. Yeah. I will admit that it's been almost 20 years now since I've been reading 'em, and I'm getting really, really good at it. But there's just still that part of me that's like, I don't know if I would.

Be able to interpret what somebody's saying. So the cards are really cool. I like 

Christian: that. It is, especially when you're pulling a series of words, um, you can't deny it and it just brings in What's beautiful about it is that it helps remind you that your spirit. Is a bridge. It is this connection to spirit that you learn to live between the worlds.

That world is just as real as this world. You learn to live between those worlds and the more you communicate with your loved ones and your team, because there is a spirit team that help assist. Some are closer, you know where they're with you always, and some pop in every once in a while, but you do have a team and they're there to not take away.

From your experience, they're not here to [00:28:00] save you. They're here to inspire you and to remind you who you are. I also love that you brought in two situations where somebody had committed suicide. This is where we're trapped in the physical body. The problem is that we get trapped in the physical body and we feel so separated from our spirit, although we're never separate from the divine.

We get trapped in this physical body with all of these memories, generations of memory, and we don't know what to do with it. And we're going to antidepressants, medications, and alcohol, and we're self-medicating in order to deal with the emotions, which is only making it worse. 

Jill: Yep. 

Christian: And so this is where I really have such a soft spot for.

Those who are so stuck in the body, they feel they have no option but to leave. And so even though I, I completely understand 'cause I myself have been in those, those you know that place, [00:29:00] we need the outlet. We need to connect to the divine to remember who we are so that we can be at peace in our body.

Reprogramming with new memories with. Memories of connection and memories of, you know, joy and memories of trust and, you know, 'cause right now we're so separate from those things. We're stuck in this physical reality without, in any way to move beyond it. And it's like we've been separated from our spirit.

What I love about these is that. Even pulling a few words takes you inward. You feel it's like hearing, without hearing. You don't know where these feelings are coming from, but as you're in that space, you're expanding and exploring what energy is. You learn to listen and you learn to really like, like just a slight, you know, thought or a picture or, you know, that's communication.

We don't necessarily, like you said, am I going crazy? [00:30:00] 

Jill: Yeah. 

Christian: You ask you, you go through that process of like, I feel like I'm going crazy. Until you learn to trust it and until you learn to trust yourself and them, it's a process and it doesn't happen overnight. And like I said, some people it's, it's easier and some people it takes a little bit longer and so not to get frustrated with the situation or, or feel like you can't or shouldn't, it might take longer, but that's okay.

You know, we're all programmed differently. We've all got different stories, backgrounds, beliefs, and it is what it is. So yeah, everyone has the ability to do it. It's your birthright. It's your true spirit. We're only here for a moment. I love that. My mother and my daughter have been a bridge for me. Yes, death has been extremely painful, but I understand there are so many gifts.

With having someone on the other side, if it wasn't for them, I would be stuck in my body and it's reality. So I love being a part of all of it. We're part of a movement right now [00:31:00] to listen to our emotions, you know? And that was Indy's. In fact, on her headstone, it says, my life is my message. At the time, I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I felt inspired to put it on her headstone.

And at this point, this is, this is what. We, I fully believe that this is why she came and this is the work that we're doing together. So, yeah. 

Jill: Can you just tell me a little bit about your teaching? Is that something you do online? Do you do only in person? Like if somebody's listening and they want to learn from you, how could they do that?

Christian: Like I said, this is new for me, so it took me many years to get to this place where I'm ready to teach and hold space for people. We have started, I work at a local shop, synchronicities here in Sandy, Utah. I teach a free class for people who are interested in the cards. It is in person, but we're working on [00:32:00] creating a platform where we can have online as well.

That will be coming, but because it's such a new product, there is no instruction really except experience. So it is about joining in on that free class whenever you can to get experience and then also see how other people use theirs as well, which is really nice. We're building a community, which is amazing.

I offer online readings, so, and online coaching. So if somebody does have a deck or orders a deck online, then they can reach out to me and we can set up some time to either coach on using the cards, you know, one-on-one or we can do a reading and I can show you how I use them, and they get to know my style and how I connect.

We are also offering classes for. Not only using the cards, but helping people elevate their, or working with frequency. So in secret at synchronicities, there is a Selenite [00:33:00] cave completely surrounded in Selenite panel. It's beautiful. And then we also have a Himalayan salt cave. So you. In this womb of the salt cave, and then you're in this elevated space of the selenite through frequency work, we elevate you and it's held on Sundays, and then on Wednesday we bring you into the salt and we ground that wisdom you receive from spirit.

Into the physical body because there is a process to expanding in awareness. You elevate, and what we've been known to do is crash. So we have these elevated states of awareness, and then what happens is we crash, there's a coming back into the body and it doesn't feel good again. And that's because your bodies.

Truth is not aligned with your spirit's truth. And so what happens is this war, this clash, and so what we're doing is using natural laws of elevation and grounding that into the physical [00:34:00] body so that. Your nervous system doesn't get such a shock, so those are in person. But like I said, anyone can reach me online.

Our website is indie star cards.com. We also have Instagram, which is indie star.cards, and so far that's kind of it for the socials. We are starting slow and we'll get more out there as we grow. But for now, they can reach out to me at Indie Star cards at Gmail. Dot com. 

Jill: I'll put links in the show notes to your website, Instagram, and email.

I know you said before we started recording that you're doing a bit of speaking about SSRI usage during pregnancy and the potential. Dangers that can cause. Is that something you're trying to be a public speaker about? What are you doing with that part? 

Christian: I feel like that message is so needed. I feel like there's a lot of people who are lost and are not sure they're on [00:35:00] antidepressants.

Not sure how to get off of them if they want to and if they do the chaos that happens afterwards. I'd have a lot of beautiful contacts for people who are in that industry of helping people get off of SSRIs or benzos, these medications that have been so addicting. We have connections and I teach people how to navigate their emotional bodies.

That's something that I'm very passionate about and. I think speaking out about these medications is our next step moving forward. '

Jill: cause yes, we definitely don't talk about the usage of them as much as we should. Mm-hmm. Considering how many people are using them. 

Christian: Yeah. 

Jill: Which, again, there is a time and a place, but oftentimes it seems that people are prescribed them and there's no plan of how long, how are we gonna get off of them when it's time.

It's just kind of like, here's the thing. And like you said, you keep increasing the dosages. Without actually [00:36:00] doing some of the work to potentially mm-hmm. Work with whatever's going on without the use of them. So it is a weird space that we've kind of boxed ourself into. Then again, I have nothing against people using an item.

No. I've used them at times in my life as well when I needed them, but also I don't want to be on them all the time. So for me, there was always. This. Goal of, alright, I'll use them for a little bit, but how am I gonna get off? 

Christian: How are, yeah. 

Jill: Yeah. 

Christian: What is your exit strategy? Because I feel the same way that time and place, you know, and sometimes life it's so heavy and dark that, you know, sometimes you just, you need support, but there needs to be an exit strategy.

This isn't something that should be or have to be lifelong. And it, it does get outta control. It. It will, it won't stay, you know, there has [00:37:00] to be an increase then added medications when they stop working. So, you know, it is important to think of an exit strategy that this is just a quick fix to a real problem and that there needs to be other avenues, you know, explored.

For real healing. 

Jill: Yeah. 

Christian: The reasons why can keep loving 

Jill: it. 

Christian: Yes. I do wanna speak more about this and inspire people to ask questions. At least have, you know, some question of why we're using them, what we're, you know, trying to achieve, and then also having that extra strategy and. Finding the support because there is support out there.

It's just knowing where to look. If anyone has any questions, I do have some incredible teams I could connect you with. 

Jill: Wonderful. 

Christian: Yeah. 

Jill: I'll put all the links in the show notes so people can reach out to you, ask you some questions and find out more about your cards, order your cards from your website.[00:38:00] 

This was wonderful. Thank you Ton for coming on. I appreciate you taking the time. This was beautiful. 

Christian: Jill, thank you so much for doing what you're doing. This is an amazing platform for a lot of people who are in need of communicating about death and. There are experiences with it. It is a sacred silent grief, and so it's nice to be able to share, especially with somebody who truly understands.

So thank you. 

Jill: If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or family member who might find it interesting. Your support in spreading the podcast is greatly appreciated. Please consider subscribing on your favorite podcast platform and leaving off. Five star review your positive feedback helps recommend the podcast to others.

The podcast also offers a paid subscription feature that allows you to financially support the show. Your contribution will help keep the podcast advertisement free, whether your donation is large or small, every amount. Is valuable. I sincerely appreciate all of you for listening to the show and supporting me in any way you [00:39:00] can.

You can find a link in the show notes to subscribe to the paid monthly subscription as well as a link to my Venmo if you prefer to make a one-time contribution. Thank you and I look forward to seeing you in next week's episode of Seeing Death. Clearly.